This grieving wife and mother found out her husband had been cheating on her for five years. Now, she can’t even say goodbye to him peacefully because his mistress wants to be in the picture!
Losing a Husband and Her Kids’ Father
Three weeks before this story was posted, OP (Original Poster) found out that her husband had died in a car accident—halfway across the country!
She was devastated at the news of his death, but it wasn’t the only thing that caused her heart to break.
OP also discovered that her husband had not been on a business trip; he was on a “cheating trip.” She said, “He said he was going on a work trip, but we later found out that all of that was just another one of his lies, and he was actually on a cheating trip.”
I’ve Been Lied to for Years
Apart from this discovery, OP also found out that the affair had been going on for years—maybe even five years.
OP is consumed with the grief of her husband’s death and the grief of finding out he was cheating on her. She said, “It’s been a very fun few weeks. Feel fantastic.”
My Poor Kids
OP also said that she and her husband have three kids. However, only the eldest son, who is 19 years old, is aware of his dad’s affair.
She and her son decided to keep it to themselves and not tell any of the younger kids.
The problem was with her husband’s affair partner. OP said that his mistress wanted to be involved.
Please Give Us Privacy
However, OP didn’t want her husband’s mistress at the funeral, so she told her that it wouldn’t be possible and that she should respect their family’s privacy.
Apart from that, he knew her eldest son struggled to contain his anger and grief while still trying to be strong for them. So, having her there would be a disaster waiting to happen.
Even if OP explicitly told her she wasn’t welcome, her husband’s mistress still showed up!
OP said, “She was there when we arrived at the graveyard, standing some distance away, but she was still close enough to everyone to just make her stand out as if she wants to be seen.” So, OP asked her brother to remove her from the area, which he did without causing too much of a scene.
You’re Being Selfish!
After everything, OP received a text from her husband’s mistress. In the message, she told OP that she was being selfish.
OP also shared that her husband’s affair partner said she was selfish “for blocking her from being there and saying I robbed her of the chance to say goodbye properly.”
I Was Putting My Kids First
OP had been second-guessing her decision and actions. However, she was also justifying what she did and told herself that she did those things because she wanted to put her kids first.
Was I Being Selfish?
She gave the community some more insights into what she felt. OP said, “She had no business there, and her presence would only cause drama. She could always go to his grave whenever she wants to say goodbye.”
However, OP still needs someone to tell her whether she had been an a**hole to her husband’s mistress or not.
What the Community Thinks
Redditors agreed with OP and said her husband’s mistress had no place in their family.
A top comment was, “She apparently knew she was having an affair with a married man and father, and she is unreasonable expecting anything from you. I’m sorry for what you’re going through; this must be a hell of a time.”
It Was Her Choice to Get Involved With a Married Man
People also said it was the affair partner’s fault for getting involved with OP’s husband. Someone also said that if she wanted to say goodbye, she could hold her own service for him.
A person followed with, “Having an affair with someone who already has a spouse and children has drawbacks. Not being welcome at weddings, funerals, and other family functions is one of them. She cannot plausibly claim to be surprised at being asked to leave.”
She Wants to Worm Herself In
Some people wanted to showcase the affair partner’s true colors, saying she only wanted to be publicly recognized for being significant to the deceased—even at the cost of the family’s peace of mind.
Someone commented, “Yeah, except she doesn’t want to say goodbye on her own. She wanted to be publicly acknowledged as important to the deceased because now she’ll never get another chance to butt into the life of the family of her dead, cheater of a partner.”
Sorry for Your Loss
Redditors also offered their condolences and some comforting words for OP, who felt both grief and betrayal.
A person said, “OP, I’m very sorry for your loss, for the betrayal and confusion you must be feeling. Rest assured, you owe her nothing: no closure, no money, no belongings. Cut her out and keep her away from your family.”
Would You Do Anything Differently?
What do you think of OP’s actions? Were they justified?
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