In this thread, a Reddit user asks if he’s a bad person since he wants his wife to find another job that will make her busy and unable to rest the whole day!
This Reddit user is a 26-year-old male with a 24-year-old wife. They have been married for four years already.
Wife’s Well-Paying Job
During all four years of their married life, OP’s wife has worked at the same company. His wife is usually away on weekends, leaving early on Fridays and returning late in the afternoon on Sundays.
She’s also occasionally tasked to work during some public holidays.
Unclear Job Description
While OP knows that his wife earns more than him, he is unaware of exactly what she does. He’s sure it’s nothing even remotely close to s*x work, though.
He says that his wife cannot share the details of her work with him since she’s working for a high-profile client, and confidentiality is part of the contract.
Financial Disparity Between Couples
Unlike his wife, OP works full-time and earns only a bit over minimum wage plus tips. He constantly struggles with money and has had to turn to their joint bank account several times.
His wife never had to face the same problem with her job, and they split their household bills 60-40, with his wife covering 60% of the expenses.
Wife’s Financial Freedom
Aside from having financial stability, OP’s wife also has the time to relax and do what she wants. His wife does chores around the house but doesn’t cook—she hates cooking and isn’t good at it.
Having the financial capacity to do so, OP’s wife prefers to order them takeaway or pre-made healthy meals.
Freedom to Do What She Likes on Her Time
According to this Reddit user, whenever he’s at home working, and his wife is at home, too, she usually just lounges around and does whatever she wants.
She relaxes, plays video games, shops, goes to the gym, reads, and more.
As time passed, OP slowly got annoyed with all the free time his wife had. At one point, he asked her to find something productive to do instead of wasting her time lounging around.
Living the Lifestyle She Deserves
Upon OP’s confrontation, his wife stands her ground and tells him that she is anything but wasting time. Instead, she is relaxing and living the lifestyle she wants because she’s earned it.
Unfair or Just Emasculating?
With his wife hitting a sore spot, OP tells her that it’s unfair for her to do nothing but relax all day when he comes home tired from work. Not wanting to invalidate her husband’s feelings, OP’s wife says she can find another job.
OP feels down and jealous because of the financial stability his wife has while still being able to relax for most of the day. However, while he feels like he wants her to find a new—or an additional—job, part of him also thinks that he’s just being an a**hole.
Rift Between Couples
After the confrontation, OP found that his wife wouldn’t talk to him. Though she offered to quit or find another job, there’s no denying how much his words and actions hurt her.
Thoughts and Opinions From Those Around Them
OP opened up to his family about what happened between him and his wife. His parents took his side and believed that his wife should work more.
On the flip side, his sisters took his wife’s side and called him a massive a**hole for even thinking that way.
Adding Fuel to the Fire
OP edited his post and added an update to clarify that he wasn’t asking his wife to quit her current job. He wants her to find something else to do—maybe part-time work—at home since she doesn’t do much during the day.
However, many other Reddit users believe his edit made him seem even worse.
Making Matters Worse
One said, “OP, your edit that she needs to find a second job doesn’t make this any better. In fact, it makes it worse.”
With OP’s edit, he made it even more apparent that this whole thing is founded on jealousy—though he might not necessarily see it from this point of view.
What Rights Do You Have?
Though OP didn’t say it outright, it was evident that he felt emasculated by his wife’s good and high-paying job.
His wife loves what she does, it pays her well, and it allows her to have time for herself and her family. So, what right does OP have to say she has to add onto her workload just because he feels it’s unfair for him?
Through Thick and Thin
Many Reddit commenters got mad at OP and summarized his feelings in one line. They say his thoughts basically mean, “I am suffering; therefore, she must suffer too so I don’t feel as bad.”
Instead of feeling happy for and proud of his wife, OP got too caught up in his jealousy.
A New Perspective
Another Reddit user also brought up a good point, asking OP whether he’s concerned by his wife’s salary and free time or if he’s concerned that he doesn’t exactly know what she does and that she’s barely home on the weekends.
She says, “I think the real problem is something different. Are you concerned because you don’t know what she does? Do you want more time with her, and your different schedules prevent that?”
Trouble in Paradise
OP is clearly in the wrong, no matter which perspective we take. The tide has turned on the OP, as most, if not all, Redditors are siding with his wife.
No matter the reason for his outburst, he must first reflect on the root cause of his troubles.
Issues That Need to Be Resolved
OP needs to get his mind together and reflect on the issue. Is his wife’s job really the one troubling him, or does the problem lie within himself?
Which Side Are You On?
Financial concerns are one of the most significant troubles a married couple faces. However, remember that there are lots of other components or aspects that affect it, too.
What do you think about OP’s outburst? Do you side with his wife, too?
This post first appeared as A Jealous and Emasculated Husband Wants His Wife to Find a New Job So She’ll Suffer at Work as Much as He Does on Quote Ambition.