This Redditor wants to ask for the community’s help and advice after he banned his future mother-in-law from his house after she called his son names. Is he right to do so?
Meet OP’s Family
OP (Original Poster) is a 39-year-old male who lost his beloved wife 6 years ago. He has a 16-year-old son named Daniel and will soon be married to his fiancé of two years.
His Future Monster-In-Law
Sadly, OP is not on good terms with his soon-to-be mother-in-law. Per his description of her, she is selfish, controlling, manipulative, and a Dolly Parton wanna-be.
Ignoring Her Bad Personality
Over the years, OP has learned to ignore everything his future mom-in-law says and does. However, this did not stop her from criticizing and judging his son.
Out-Of-Line Judgments
OP’s future mother-in-law always sees his son for what she deems he’s doing wrong. She criticizes his personality regularly and says he is autistic and anti-social.
Danny’s Personality and His Struggles
In truth, Daniel is just a shy and private kid who isn’t used to their new family dynamics. To help him out, OP already signed him up for therapy, which seems to be working.
Trying to Pick At His Son
Because Daniel is a private kid, many label him anti-social, like what his future mom-in-law does. She keeps forcing him to open up to her by asking private and personal questions.
His future mother-in-law also goes as far as to embarrass him during dinners and test his personality type.
Setting Boundaries
OP could see how much his future mother-in-law is affecting his son. So, he gave him a choice to no longer interact and be in the same room or house as her.
OP could see how relieved Daniel was and how much he appreciated having the choice.
Upset at How Things Progressed
His future mother-in-law didn’t like that OP gave his son a chance to stay away from her and that Daniel chose not to interact with her. She went on to say that OP is spoiling his son, and it would make it hard for her daughter to deal with him once they are married.
Whenever OP tried to stop this kind of conversation, his future mother-in-law would say, “I’m just doing this for Daaannny.”
Surprise Visit
A week before this story was posted, OP’s future mother-in-law came by unexpectedly and said she wanted to see his son. So, Daniel greeted her and then went into the bathroom.
She then went into the living room to visit OP’s fiancé.
His Son’s Missing Journal
Then, while OP was in his bedroom, Daniel came to tell him his journal suddenly went missing. He and Daniel started looking for it but couldn’t find it anywhere.
OP went to his fiancé in the kitchen to ask her if she’d seen it, but she didn’t. OP also asked her where her mother was so he could ask her, and she told him she was in the living room.
Confrontations
When OP turned to look in the living room, he saw her coming down the stairs. So, she asked him where she had been, and she explained she was only using the bathroom.
However, OP saw that his future mom-in-law was holding onto her purse. He confronted her and asked her if she had his son’s journal.
Offended or Guilty?
OP’s future mother-in-law looked offended that he asked her that question, and she tried to make him believe she was innocent. She later called his fiancé when he insisted on checking her purse.
She wanted to leave, but OP was adamant that she didn’t go until they could check her purse.
Manipulative Tendencies
When OP’s fiancé saw what was happening, she tried to stop him from checking her mom’s purse. However, OP stuck to his instincts and was determined to prove that his son’s journal was stolen by his future mother-in-law.
His fiancé’s mom then tried to explain she did it because she believed it was her only chance to get to know OP’s son. She mentioned that she cares about him, but OP didn’t believe it.
Protecting His Son’s Privacy
Upon the revelation, OP got mad at her and admonished her from stealing from his son—especially something so private as his journal. Because of his anger, he told his future mom-in-law she was banned from his house.
Not the End
She continued to argue with OP before she left his house. OP’s fiancé apologized for her mom’s actions but told him that banning her from the house was too much.
Backlash OP Faces
Of course, the issue didn’t end there. His future father-in-law contacted them and told his daughter to call off the wedding because of how “f*cking abusive” OP is. He was also mad that OP would not apologize to his wife.
Standing His Ground
Sad that it has come to this, his fiancé told OP that her family wouldn’t come to the wedding if he didn’t apologize for what he did. However, OP stood by his decision.
He explained that he would never let his son get disrespected in his own house, and he asked her to understand why he did what he did.
End of the Relationship?
OP’s priority is his son, and rightly so. Because of this, OP refuses to reconcile with his fiancé’s family—even though he’s afraid it might put a strain on their relationship.
Their Thoughts
OP’s relationship with his soon-to-be in-laws might go down the drain—if it hasn’t already. His fiancé also thinks he’s pretty selfish to cause all this drama.
You Did Right by Your Son!
However, though everyone on his future in-laws’ side seems to think he’s the bad guy, Redditors admire and commend OP for sticking by his son’s side through it all.
One Redditor said, “Your son is lucky to have you in his corner.”
Keep Standing Firm in Your Decision
To back him up, another commenter said, “Keep standing up for your son. If your fiancé isn’t on his side in this and thinks her mother’s fake tears are more important than him feeling safe in his own home, you’ve got more to think about than just this one situation because I foresee the kid starting to post here before the ink is dry on the guestbook.”
Time to Think Things Through
Though there’s a part of OP that might be devastated at the fact that his actions might ruin his relationship with his soon-to-be wife and in-laws, the majority of the community wants him to think about his decisions again.
People said that perhaps it’s time he thinks about putting off the wedding until he’s sure his marriage won’t hurt him or his son. A top comment goes, “If I were you, I’d put off the wedding until you know for sure that your fiancé understands and will stand up for your son—and you—to her family when shit like this happens.”
You’ve Got Your Priorities Straight
Though everything seems chaotic for OP and his son right now, many people say that OP did the right thing and his son is lucky to have a dad like him.
What should OP do moving forward? Should he forgive his future mother-in-law or cancel the wedding?
This post first appeared as He Banned His Future Mother-In-Law From His House After She Called His Son Autistic and Stole His Journal. Now Everyone’s Saying He Should Cancel the Wedding! on Quote Ambition.