A Reddit user was at the center of a tug-of-war when his daughter from a previous relationship clashed with his new girlfriend. He chose his girlfriend’s side, but was it the right choice?
Close Family Ties
OP (Original Poster) is a dad who never had a close relationship with his only daughter. Everything about their relationship went sour after he and his wife divorced.
Lack of Connection
When OP and his wife divorced, his relationship with his daughter somewhat suffered. The divorce happened when his daughter was only 13, and what made it worse was that they only saw each other every two to three months or on special occasions.
Although there were many factors, OP blames himself for his lack of bond with his daughter. After all, he felt that he had a mid-life crisis during that time, even if he was only in his early 30s.
Finding Comfort in Others
OP dated several women over the years since his divorce. However, he wouldn’t classify any of his relationships with women as serious.
Meeting the New “The One?”
After going through a couple of non-serious relationships, six months before this post, OP met a girl and started dating her. His relationship with her progressed much better than the others, and soon, he thought what they had was serious.
Going on a Family Dinner
Upon gaining that realization, six weeks before this story was posted, OP invited his close family members and friends over for dinner—including his daughter. He felt it was time to introduce his girlfriend to the people he loved.
Bonding Over Wine and Food
The dinner was going great! Everybody seemed to have fun, and everyone seemed to like OP’s girlfriend.
Small, Drunken Arguments?
OP and his daughter got into a small argument at one point at dinner. OP didn’t remember much about it, and he told the community that it’s probably a very minor thing for him not to remember.
Caught up in all the negative emotions, OP’s daughter called his girlfriend a gold digger right before his face. She left shortly after their quarrel, and OP believed she effectively ruined the rest of the night.
Twist of Fate
Earlier in the story, OP made it seem like he had met “the one.” However, as he continued his tale, we discovered that he knew that his girlfriend was only with him for money, and he wasn’t in the relationship solely because of love.
OP explains that he knew his girlfriend’s reason for staying with him. He also opened up about what he felt.
He says, “I’m not delusional. I know one of the reasons that my girlfriend is with me is money, and I assume everyone else in the family knows that too; same way, one of the reasons I’m with my girlfriend is her looks.”
Incomplete Family Dinner
A few weeks after the argument, OP organized a dinner at his home again. He invited close family and friends and some of his girlfriend’s friends for dinner.
Sadly, OP skipped out on inviting his one and only daughter.
Will History Repeat Itself?
OP explains that his reason for this is that his daughter abhors his girlfriend. He believes that having them in the space will repeat what happened during the last dinner.
Baring Her True Feelings
As we know, no secret will forever remain hidden. OP’s daughter eventually found out that her dad deliberately banned her from a family dinner.
She lost her cool and called her dad a “selfish, narcissistic pr*ck.”
Even with how his daughter felt, he felt that he did the right thing. So, he was surprised when he found out his sister was taking her daughter’s side on this matter.
OP’s sister told him he should still have invited his daughter for dinner.
While OP thinks he’s in the right, the rest of the Reddit community doesn’t seem to think so. People even consider him to be a sugar daddy!
One said, “Enjoy being a sugar daddy, I guess, since it’s clear you don’t have any interest in a real relationship with your kid.”
Delusional or Choosing to Be Blind?
Though OP said he knew his girlfriend was with him because of money and he was only with her because of her looks, the community found it hard to believe that he still shunned his daughter.
A Redditor said, “You’re acknowledging that she’s with you at least partly for your money, but your daughter doesn’t have the right to share that opinion?” Another also said, “You’re dating a younger woman for her looks, and she’s dating you for your money—why are you so offended when your daughter is right?”
Teenagers Can Be Tricky to Handle
Though OP might have had the right to get mad at her daughter for calling his girlfriend a gold digger, Reddit users found it appalling that he could abandon her for just that; after all, children can be a bit hard to handle at times.
This was clearly explained in a Redditor’s comment: “Maybe the daughter is the a**hole for the gold digger comment, but you’re the a**hole big-big time for abandoning your child so that you could f*ck around as a single dude.”
In the Wrong
No matter how many people agree that OP’s daughter was wrong in calling his girlfriend a gold digger, no one contests how much of a right she has to tell her dad what she thinks of the person he’s bringing into her life.
OP consciously decided to exclude his daughter from a family dinner, and it’s like he chose his girlfriend over his daughter.
Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
If you were OP’s daughter, how would you feel if you were excluded from a family dinner? If you were OP, did any of the Reddit community’s comments open your eyes to the wrongs you’ve done?
This post first appeared as He Bans His Daughter From Family Dinners After She Calls Out His New Girlfriend for Being a Gold Digger on Quote Ambition.