This Redditor wants to justify his actions after he got mad at his wife for saying nasty things about his son and ex’s family. Should he apologize though he’s done right by his child?
OP (Original Poster) has a son from a previous relationship. He had him when he was only in his senior year of high school.
Now, he’s in a new relationship and got married, and there seems to be no problem in their family dynamics—well, until the night they had dinner with friends.
Nice Family Dinners
OP, his wife, and his 13-year-old son visited his friends’ place for dinner one night. He’s known them since high school, and they also have two kids OP’s son could spend time with.
After Dinner Shenanigans
After their meal, OP’s son and one of his friends’ children left the dining area so they could play some video games together. However, OP was sure they were still within earshot and could hear whatever they discussed at the table.
Conversations Between Adults
While the kids were playing, the adults stayed at the table to chat and catch up. Tattoos somehow became their topic.
Then, OP’s friend mentioned how his ex’s brother had impressive tattoos.
Trying to Spin Things Her Way
At this point, OP’s wife jumped into the conversation and mentioned that his ex’s whole family was covered in tattoos, and she was sure his son would also be covered in them in the near future.
OP responded and told her he would be okay with tattoos if his son thought about them well.
Not Watching Her Mouth
The conversation could’ve stopped with OP saying he was alright with his son getting tattoos if that’s what he wanted, but his wife pressed the issue further.
She said his son would surely become an “unemployed trailer park trash like his mom’s family.”
Hitting a Nerve
Upon hearing his wife’s comment about his son and his mom’s family, OP got mad. She put his son’s family in a bad light, and he said, “I can’t believe you just said that.”
Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover
OP told his wife, in front of their friends, that she had no right to talk about his son’s family that way. He told his wife she shouldn’t speak negatively about people she doesn’t know personally.
Don’t Believe in Stereotypes
He continued to tell his wife that he didn’t believe having tattoos automatically equated to unemployment. OP also informed her that she was wrong about most of his ex’s family members.
He said most of them were employed and happy at work. OP also mentioned there were several business owners in his ex’s family.
Know More About Who You’re Talking About
OP even told her and the group that the brother his friend was talking about with the nice tattoos was successful in his own way. He was a semi-professional boxer and owned a business; he even had a master’s degree!
Getting to Know More About His Ex’s Family
In truth, OP knows why his wife said these things about his son’s mom’s family. He mentioned that his ex’s family did have a bad reputation in their community, and many of them lived in the trailer park.
He also mentioned that she had brothers and uncles who were in and out of prison. But though that’s the case, his ex had a large family, and a good number of them were great people.
His Support System
His good opinion of his ex’s family isn’t unfounded, either. OP explained that they were an important part of his life when he was younger, especially when they had his son during his senior year of high school.
He mentioned that his family didn’t support him having a child that age, but her family was their support system. OP said they couldn’t have done it without them.
OP mentioned how much of an impact his ex’s family had on him. He said her grandfather gave him his first job, and her brother helped him find and fix his car.
He went on to say that his ex’s family are people whom he considered his own family for years. They’re not close anymore, but he realizes they are still important people in his son’s life.
A Positive Influence
His ex’s family, in many ways, positively influences his son. He mentioned that even if his wife didn’t know them personally, he was sure his son had told her some positive things about them.
This is mainly why he couldn’t understand her outburst about them during dinner.
After the couple’s little fight over dinner, the night continued without further outbursts. However, OP and his wife remained awkward with each other; it’s like you could feel the tension in the air.
That night, while getting ready for bed, OP’s wife confronted him and said he was an a**hole for making her look like a jerk in front of everybody. She was also mad at him for humiliating her and defending his ex in front of everyone.
He was shocked at her reaction and explained his side to her. He said he couldn’t put up with it when she spoke negatively about his son’s family—especially while he was still within earshot!
OP didn’t speak to his wife for the rest of the night. He also slept in a different room after their argument.
The next day, OP went to the gym with his brother, and he told him about what had happened. His brother told him he was an a**hole because he shamed his wife publicly; he said he should’ve waited until they were alone.
He also said OP was sending the wrong message to his wife and possibly their friends after he defended his ex. Now, OP needs clarification and wants to know if he really was in the wrong.
The Words His Son Needed to Hear
Unlike his brother, most of the Reddit community supported OP’s actions. They said he sent the right message, especially to his son.
A top commenter said, “Assuming your son overheard, he heard you call his stepmom out; he heard the love and respect you have for him and the rest of the family: his mom, uncles, and grandparents. If you didn’t do that, he’d have gone to sleep thinking you agree with his stepmom—that he’ll end up unemployed in a trailer park.”
Keeping Your Mouth Shut
Another Redditor said that if OP’s wife didn’t want to get called out in front of their friends, then she should also have stopped and thought about things before she disrespected his son in front of everyone.
A comment goes, “If stepmom didn’t want to be called out in public, she could have kept her mouth shut in public.”
With the way OP’s wife talked to his son, many Redditors were concerned for his son’s well-being. They couldn’t believe his stepmom would talk about him that way—whether or not he could hear it.
So, the community also advised OP to talk with his son about his stepmom and how she was treating him. One person said, “I shudder to think what she might say if you weren’t around.”
How Did the Whole Situation Make You Feel?
It’s comforting to know that OP was brave enough to defend his son in front of his wife and friends. What do you think about OP’s wife’s actions?
Do you think he was right to correct her in public?
This post first appeared as He Blew up at His Wife in Public After She Told Him His Son Would Become an “Unemployed Trailer Park Trash” Like His Biological Mom and Her Family Members on Quote Ambition.