A Redditor thinks he deserves the money his brother left because he didn’t change the beneficiary before he died. He doesn’t want to share a cent with his sister-in-law and her kids. Is he wrong?
OP and His Brother
OP (Original Poster) is a 40-year-old with an older brother, Jay, who recently passed away. He said he and his brother couldn’t have been more different.
Jay was the “golden child” who got a full ride to a prestigious college, while OP struggled to pay on his own and eventually dropped out. He also said Jay went to grad school while he married and settled down with his wife, Brittany.
OP and his wife had always struggled financially and lived paycheck to paycheck. On the other hand, Jay had always made good money and never had financial troubles.
Yet, he wasn’t lucky in love.
OP shared that Jay “was very picky” and looked for “perfection.” He eventually married his wife, Mary, in 2019, and OP said she also “made good money” like Jay.
Mary had two children in their late teens from her previous relationship—one was already in college, and the other was starting the following year. Mary and Jay also had twin girls a year before this story was posted.
Money Was Never a Problem
He also shared that Mary and Jay worked and had a nanny for their girls. When Mary got pregnant with the twins, she sold the house they were living in, and Jay sold the condo he had been renting out; together, they bought a family home.
OP shared all these to give everyone a clear picture of how money was never a problem for the couple.
When Jay passed away in a car accident, Mary found out that OP was the beneficiary of Jay’s life insurance and 401(k).
OP said, “The life insurance is 150k, but the 401(k) is much more substantial. He set it up that way years ago before Mary was in the picture and never changed it.”
Begging for a Cut
Mary begged OP for a cut of the money he’d receive, but OP said no. He said she had already inherited his part of their house and around $50,000 in their joint savings.
Why She Needed the Money
However, Mary didn’t want to give up on her husband’s money. She said she paid for his funeral and would have to make significant adjustments to keep their family afloat.
She said she would have to sell their house, give up the girls’ nanny, and put them in daycare. Mary also mentioned that she couldn’t help her older kids with college, unlike what she and Jay had initially planned.
He’s Not Changing His Mind
Sadly, OP didn’t want to give up the money, either. OP told Mary that it wasn’t his fault.
He said, “If he wanted to change the beneficiary, he should have done that. But he didn’t, so now the money is mine.”
I Need the Money More Than You!
OP said he and his wife plan to use the money to finally start a family and buy their own house.
He then shared what Mary said in his post, “She says her husband’s money should go to his children, but she doesn’t see that me using the money to have my own children is more important.”
Should the Money Go to His Kids?
His parents think he’s an a**hole because they believe Jay’s money belongs to his children. OP then offered to put $50,000 in a trust for the girls’ education in the future, but his parents told him Mary needed the money immediately.
Trying to Make Him Understand the Situation
OP’s parents tried convincing him that his brother’s family needed his money. They said the insurance would help them pay off their mortgage, help the boys in college, and help the girls’ future.
His parents also said that Jay’s insurance and Mary’s income would cover their cost of living, so they wouldn’t have to move.
However, even with everyone telling OP how much Jay’s family needed the money, he didn’t want to give in.
He ends his post by asking, “But what about my family?”
What Redditors Think About the Issue
Though OP is legally entitled to the money, Redditors believe he’s an a**hole for keeping it to himself when his brother’s family clearly needs it.
A top comment was, “It’s hard to imagine a scenario in which he would not want his own children to have the money and be cared for. He should have updated his affairs but didn’t. OP is greedy and morally wrong here, even if he is legally entitled to the money.”
It Shouldn’t Go to You!
Many were also appalled by how much OP thinks he deserves his brother’s money.
A Redditor said, “You’re the a**hole! You’re taking money away from his children! Seriously, dude! You didn’t earn or work for that money! Your entitlement is pathetic! You don’t actually want to know if you’re an a**hole or not; you just want someone to justify your actions! You already know you’re the a**hole.”
Open Your Eyes to the Truth!
People also pointed out that should Jay have realized earlier that he hadn’t changed his beneficiary, there was a high chance he would update it to cover his family. So, OP shouldn’t be disillusioned that the money belonged to him.
Someone said, “You know damn well that if your brother had realized that you were still listed as the beneficiary, he would have changed it. Your make-believe unborn children are not more important than the children who just tragically lost their dad—one of the worst traumas that can happen to children.”
What Would You Tell OP?
What do you think about OP’s actions? What would you advise him to do?
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