This Redditor turned to the community to ask if she was wrong to refuse to pay for her sister’s husband’s medical expenses with the inheritance she’s saving for her college education.
Meet the Two Sisters
OP (Original Poster) is an 18-year-old with a 27-year-old sister, and it was only the two of them left in the family. She said their dad passed away a year ago, and their mom was never in their life.
They were left with some money from the inheritance they got from their dad, and her sister spent most of hers buying extravagant items like cars. She also renovated their house using the money.
Contrary to her sister, OP is saving the money to fund her college education. She also said she lives with their aunt because her brother-in-law didn’t want her to stay with them.
A Not-So-Close Relationship
OP mentioned that she and her sister weren’t close and that this kind of relationship started when she married her chronically ill husband.
She said her sister allowed her husband to mock their dad’s illness and make backhanded comments about him. OP’s brother-in-law also made a scene at their dad’s funeral; her sister allowed everything to happen because “he’s ill and shouldn’t be held accountable for his behavior.”
She actively distanced herself from her sister and all the drama, but she wouldn’t let her. OP said her sister frequently visited her to vent about her brother-in-law’s condition.
Her sister said he has been in and out of the hospital for his heart condition and would probably need surgery soon.
Sneaking It Into the Conversation
OP mentioned that her sister would sometimes try to dive into her inheritance money, and she would cut her off. However, her sister straightforwardly asked her to pay for her husband’s surgery and medical expenses using her inheritance; she said they’d pay her back within a year.
Is It a Risk She’s Willing to Pay?
OP is hesitant to let her sister and her husband borrow money from her because she’s not sure if they will be able to pay her back before it is time for her to apply for college.
She was taking a gap year, but she also thought her sister wouldn’t be able to pay her back such a significant amount. OP feels that letting her sister borrow money from her would mean risking her future.
Trying to Appeal to Her Emotions
The moment OP refused, her sister had a meltdown. She mentioned in her post that her sister called her heartless and cruel and said she had no empathy.
She also shared, “She said her husband’s health should be a priority, and I needed to help because education is nothing compared to someone’s health and asked if I’d be happy to see her as a widow and my nephew with no father.”
OP’s aunt stepped in and suggested that her sister could find others to help her pay. However, most of them cut OP’s sister and brother-in-law off.
It’s Not My Fault!
OP tried to argue with her sister and said it was not her fault her husband was sick because her sister kept guilt-tripping her and blaming her for what was happening.
Her sister kept crying, and their aunt said she would stay out of it. However, she also told OP to be prepared for any permanent damage the issue would cause between her and her sister.
After their confrontation, OP said that her sister constantly sent her messages and pictures of her family. She told her she was saying no to a happy family with a healthy husband and father.
Am I Being Cruel?
With how things turned out, it’s no surprise that OP feels guilty. She said, “I cried and felt like I was being selfish, not good aunt and sister.”
Thankfully, OP could ask for some advice from a friend. Her friend told her that her sister could sell their cars to get enough money to pay for the medical bills.
He also warned her to be ready to give up going to medical school if she gave in and her sister didn’t pay her back.
Redditor’s Two Cents
For Redditors, OP was right in defending herself and telling her sister she was not liable for her brother-in-law’s sickness and their inability to pay for his medical expenses.
One said, “Your sister chose to spend money she got less than a year ago on expensive things instead of planning for the future like you did. Easy come, easy go, as they say. Do not give them a penny of your money.”
Your Friend Is Right!
The community also said that her friend made so much sense. They had another option that they were not willing to take.
A Redditor shared, “Your friend is correct. You’ll never get the money back because sis isn’t willing to give up her luxurious lifestyle. She chose how to spend her inheritance, didn’t save for a rainy day, and isn’t entitled to yours because of her poor financial planning.”
People also want her to prioritize herself and her education.
A comment shared was, “It’s your education, not hers. Your brother-in-law is a complete stranger to you; you have no blood relation, I assume, and therefore no obligation. She’s being selfish and entitled.”
How Would You React?
Do you think OP’s sister was unfair? What would you tell her?
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