This OP (Original Poster) just wanted her friend to know that what she was drinking wasn’t suited to her diet. She thinks the comment ruined their friendship, but was it even whole to begin with?
OP is a 26-year-old female who has a 30-year-old vegan friend. Said friend doesn’t have many close friends but holds a special place in OP’s heart as she’s been beside her when OP didn’t have anyone else.
Accommodating a Strict Diet
Her friend is a vegan, but OP has no issues with her preferences. In fact, she goes above and beyond and ensures she and her husband only eats what her friend eats when she comes over.
More a Personality Issue Than a Dietary Issue
The only thing OP doesn’t like about her friend’s veganism is that she is pretty self-righteous about things, so much so that her friend has alienated almost everyone around her because of it.
Better Than Everyone Else
Apart from that, OP’s friend also thinks she’s better than everyone else because of her choice not to consume any animal products.
Lovely Dinner Dates
One night, OP invited her vegan friend and others to her home to bond over food over drinks.
Taking a Wrong Turn
At one point in dinner, OP realizes that the wine her vegan friend was drinking wasn’t vegan. She bought vegan-specific drinks and got all the vegan food ready so she knew that the bottle her friend was holding was non-vegan.
Opening Her Eyes to Her Mistake
Thinking her vegan friend would want to know, she immediately informed her about it. However, her friend has already finished almost a full glass.
Are All Wines Vegan?
Her vegan friend got mad and started telling everyone OP was mistaken because all wines were vegan. She continued to say that OP was being ridiculous.
OP’s friend went one step further and even questioned her willingness to host and share her drinks. She told OP that if she had an issue with her friends drinking pricey wines, she should have hidden them before dinner.
Apparently, the wine her friend was drinking was on the more expensive side. Of course, for OP, this was hardly an issue.
Doing Her Own Research
OP was knowledgeable about some wines and pointed out that not all wines were vegan. She continued and told her vegan friend that she could drink whatever she wanted—regardless of the price.
After all, she only wanted to tell her friend what she was drinking. She didn’t intend to stop her just because of the bottle’s price tag.
Truly Friends or Just a Facade?
OP’s friend didn’t take things well. She started badmouthing OP and telling her things that hurt her.
Her friend said she was in the wrong for calling her out, and she also said OP was a know-it-all because of how she lectured her about her own diet in front of all their friends.
Just Wanted What Was Best for Her
In truth, OP just wanted to inform her friend. She assumed that as a vegan, she would be the first to be conscious and check these things.
After their argument, OP turned to Reddit because she was confused. She thinks she was an a**hole for leaving the non-vegan bottle in the fridge when she knew her vegan friend was coming over.
You’re a Conscientious Friend
Even though she felt that way, people online backed her up and told her she was not an a**hole. For people, she was a conscientious friend who tried her best to accommodate her vegan friend’s needs.
One user said, “You aren’t the a**hole for having non-vegan ingredients in your fridge when she comes over. You even knew and wouldn’t have served it to her.”
People even questioned her vegan friend’s authenticity. Many think they weren’t that good friends after all—or, at least, her vegan friend wasn’t a true friend.
A commenter shares his thoughts and says, “So she’s passionate and outspoken, wants others to respect and change accordingly, but when someone changes and speaks out in favor of the cause, she gets defensive and annoyed. What?!”
Being Called Out
People also said that her vegan friend was probably just upset for being called out that she’s not that dedicated to veganism. They mentioned that if she were a proper vegan, it would have been ingrained in her mind and routine to check the ingredient list first.
The Real Issue People See
The main issue people saw with the post is that more than the issue of the OP being an a**hole or not, maybe OP should think about her relationship with her friend.
It might be worth considering how her friend reacted and why she did so.
There’s a Two-Faced Person in Their Friendship
OP’s vegan friend’s reaction during the whole situation spoke volumes about her personality and how she viewed her friendship with OP.
So, one Redditor said, “I bet if you had said nothing and she later on discovered it wasn’t vegan, she would have called you a bad friend. Sounds like she wants to be right all the time and that she’s arrogantly obnoxious.”
Would You Have Wanted to Know?
Let’s step into their shoes for a moment. If you were OP’s vegan friend, would you have wanted to know if you were consuming something non-vegan?
In the same way, how would you react if you were OP and had a friend like hers?
This post first appeared as She Calls Out Her Self-Righteous Vegan Friend for Drinking Her Non-vegan Wine at Home. Her Friend Gets Mad and Calls Her a Know-It-All; Has She Ruined Their Friendship? on Quote Ambition.