This Redditor put her foot down when her husband’s stepmother tried to name their child. She told her it wasn’t her place; now they guilt-trip her and make her think she was too much!
A Wish Come True
OP (Original Poster) and her husband were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. She mentioned she would be their one and only child because of several personal reasons, but it was mainly because it would be a risk for her to get pregnant again.
They had longed for their baby for a long decade, but she was finally in their arms.
Naming a Special Girl After a Special Lady
Their daughter was so special to them that they wanted to name her after a special lady close to her husband’s heart. They wanted to name her after her husband’s late mom, who died when he was only seven.
The Calla Lady
OP’s husband’s late mom gained the nickname, The Calla Lady, because his mom sold Calla lily flowers from their garden when OP’s husband was young so she could earn extra money.
She mentioned that her husband’s late mom was sick and couldn’t do any other work.
A Woman of Strength
Her husband’s late mom’s name was Hanna. However, they wanted to name their daughter after her nickname because, for her husband, Calla was a name that reminded him of his mother’s strength.
OP also said her husband remembered his mom saying the name was beautiful.
A Fitting Name
OP and her husband agreed that the name would be perfect for their little girl. So, they named her Calla.
The Root of the Issue
OP mentioned that this post came about because of their issues with her husband’s stepmother. She says that her husband’s dad remarried after his mom passed away, and his new stepmother took over and saw herself as the primary parent.
However, OP’s husband didn’t want a new mother. For him, his late mom was enough; he didn’t want to form a bond with his stepmother.
No Children of Her Own
To add some more background, OP mentioned that her husband’s stepmother could not have any children of her own. This then added more pressure on her husband to conform and build a relationship with her.
It was also because of this that her husband’s stepmom hated the fact that OP’s husband wasn’t close to her.
Today, OP’s husband didn’t have that close of a relationship with both his dad and his stepmom. The relationship was so strained that his stepmom wouldn’t have understood the meaning behind their daughter’s name, but OP’s sure her father-in-law would.
The Birth of an Angel
OP and her husband only announced the arrival of their baby girl a few days after she was born because OP was recovering. However, once they told the world about her and shared her name, they got a comment from her father-in-law saying they chose an odd name for her.
Up to Speed
A month before this story was posted, OP’s father-in-law and wife visited them. Typically, visits like this should be pleasant, but it was not so for OP and her husband.
Overstepping Her Bounds
Her husband’s stepmom confronted them and told them that she and OP’s daughter would be constantly reminded that she is not the real grandmother because of the couple’s name choice.
She continued and said she should have been considered in the naming process.
Standing Up for Her Late Mother-In-Law
She saw how much her husband was struggling to shut her down. So, OP took it upon herself to give her a reality check.
She said she should not live in a fantasy world where she thinks she’s the family’s only wife, mom, and grandmother. OP went on to say that she had no right to name their daughter.
Upon her outburst, OP’s father-in-law and his wife got mad. They accused her of being cruel and making her husband’s stepmom feel like she was not wanted.
They wanted OP to apologize for what she said.
Now, OP has a side to her that thinks she went too far. However, her husband thanked her for what she did.
What the Community Says
Redditors immediately backed OP up and said it was none of her husband’s stepmom’s business. One said, “There are layers of ‘illogical’ here that indicate some narcissistic concerns; a reasonable stepmother would find honoring the mother to be wonderful.”
Another person shared, “They are totally living in a fantasy land—what’s up with older generations thinking they are owed something in regards to grandchildren? And honestly, honoring your husband’s mom is not the same thing as dishonoring the stepmom.”
How Would You Feel?
If you were in OP or her husband’s shoes, how would you feel about someone like her overstepping their bounds? Do you think it was only right for OP to shut her up?
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