This Redditor’s mom got all up in her cousin’s face, and she wants to know whether she’s a bad daughter for calling her mom out and humiliating her.
Taking Care of Family
OP (Original Poster) has a cousin named Ally, and she has two boys aged eight and six. Something traumatic had happened to her, so she felt under the weather.
Since her husband won’t be home till late in the evening, OP’s aunt, Ally’s mom, asked her and her mom if they could come over to Ally’s place to bring her some food. OP and her mom agreed.
A Surprise Visit
OP had assumed her mom would tell her cousin they were coming over. However, when they arrived, she could see the surprise on Ally’s face.
Not Dressed for the Occasion
OP noted that Ally was not dressed for any visitors. She was only wearing sweatpants and a tank top, and her hair was knotted.
Also, her makeup was messy, and they could hear her nephews chatting inside the house.
Getting Her Nose Into Someone’s Business
OP’s mom started being nosy and asked Ally why her kids were at home instead of in school. She also asked her why she looked so messy.
Trying to Explain Herself
Ally tried to reason with OP’s mother and said that she 100% had to have her sons by her side at the moment. She further explained that she had just woken up, hence her current wardrobe.
She also mentioned that she was playing with her sons, and they were the ones who did her makeup.
OP didn’t think much of what her cousin said. However, it was a different story for her mom.
OP’s mom told Ally, “You’re not setting a very good example for your boys, don’t you think?”
OP could see on Ally’s face that she was getting upset. So, she took it upon herself to warn her mom and told her to back off.
Sadly, her mom wasn’t deterred.
Simply Advice or Threats?
Her mom was just on a roll! She started telling Ally that she wouldn’t be the one to do it, but if other people found out about what she had done and that she had kept her sons from school, somebody would surely call CPS on her.
Pushing Her to the Breaking Point
Ally tried to defend her actions, but OP’s mom wouldn’t have it. She was pushing her to explain herself.
Trying to Control the Situation
OP, seeing that her cousin has had enough, told her mom to back off again. She even said it was none of her mom’s business.
Then, OP turned to Ally and apologized for her mom’s actions. She said, “She can be a bit nosy sometimes, haha; please forgive her. You know how she is—she can be a bit overbearing.”
Tension Between Mother and Daughter
After what OP did, she could immediately see the anger in her mom’s eyes. She was glaring at her already.
They left Ally and the boys the food and quickly left for home.
Hurting Her Feelings
While they were driving back, OP and her mom got into a fight, too. Her mom was yelling at her, telling her that what she did had humiliated her and made her sound emotional and stupid.
You’re Just Like Your Father!
Her mom was so hurt that she said OP was acting just like her father, and she felt like her daughter had betrayed her. In one of OP’s follow-up explanations, she mentioned, “I might be the a**hole because it’s true that my dad used to say the same things about my mom over lesser things.”
Her mom also asked her to stop the car so she could walk home. OP’s mom told her she didn’t want to be in the presence of a rude daughter, but OP thinks she’s just overreacting.
Now, OP thinks she might have done her mom wrong. She feels that, perhaps, her mom was only looking out for Ally and her sons.
You’ve Done Right by Your Cousin
Even though she thinks that way, the community believes OP did the right thing. One said, “Your mom was shaming your cousin and trying to condescendingly humiliate her; she doesn’t get to cry foul when she gets humiliated by being called out for it.”
There was even one person commending her for standing up to her mom. After all, it’s not easy to call out our parents for doing something wrong.
However, in this case, OP saw that her mom was oppressing her cousin, and she stepped in to make things right.
A Bully or an Overly-Fussy Aunt?
Though OP thinks her mom might just be watching out for her family, the Reddit community wants OP to be more mindful of red flags.
A comment goes, “Your mother’s definitely a drama queen using words like humiliating and betrayal for essentially being slightly embarrassed because of her own actions.” Another said, “Your mom is extra—Ally just needed help; your mom decided to be judgy and was pissed that you shut her ridiculousness down.”
Empathy Wins Every Time
Ally might be going through some traumatic things, and she needs all the help she can get from the people around her. Thankfully, she has an empathetic cousin, OP, willing to back her up.
What do you think about OP’s mom’s actions? What would you tell her if you were her daughter or son?
This post first appeared as She Stopped Her Mom From Harassing and Yelling at Her Cousin With Two Kids, but She Continued Anyway. She Was Later Blamed for Betraying and Humiliating Her Mom on Quote Ambition.